What is sex therapy and do I need it?
Sex therapy is something that sounds so scandalous at first glance. People may think, “Does it mean that the therapist has SEX with me?!” or they may think that we ONLY talk about sex the whole time.
In reality, sex therapy is just regular ole therapy, except that we discuss sex-related concerns that you may be having, and provide interventions that alleviate and improve your sexual symptoms and concerns. Most importantly, as any ethically-conscious and law-abiding therapist can tell you, therapy NEVER includes sexual interaction between the therapist and the client. Sex therapy is really not scandalous or outrageous at all, and it can be extremely helpful to many people!
I offer several different types of therapy to clients: You can come in for couples therapy, sex therapy, or individual therapy. Let’s break down what each of those mean, and how they are different.
To start, it’s helpful to clarify what therapy itself actually is. Therapy is a collaborative process between a trained therapist and an individual seeking help. We (therapists) utilize psychotherapeutic theories and techniques to help you (wonderful clients, who we are rooting for always) move through the hurdles of life with a little more insight into your own patterns. We explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, as you discuss your current life, your past, your goals, your trauma, the difficulties you face, and anything else you may want to talk about. The therapist’s role is to ask questions, to confront inconsistencies between your beliefs and behaviors, to provide encouragement, and to help reduce your distress.
If you are attending therapy by yourself, as a means of promoting your own individual wellbeing, this would be considered Individual Therapy. In my practice, I see individuals who are experiencing a wide range of personal issues including individuals who experience sexual dysfunction and concerns.
Clients with the latter would be attending Sex Therapy.
Sex therapy can also involve more than one individual. If more than one person is involved in the therapy process, then we would consider it to be Couples Therapy (and remember, a “couple” can be any two people. You could come in with your platonic friend if you wanted to. If you came in with family members, it would be considered Family Therapy).
To illustrate, here's a handy (and extremely artistic) Venn diagram that I just whipped up:
Now, to answer the question of “do I need it?” here’s my honest take: Everyone in the world could benefit from therapy, and since we are all humans and sexual beings, everyone could also benefit from sex therapy.
We humans are made from sex, we experience sexual thoughts and impulses, and if you are sexually active (either solo or partnered), you have sex. Sex is way more involved in people’s lives than we give it credit for. At minimum, you at least have opinions and biases about sex. Even if you are a nun, a priest, or a monk, sex therapy might be beneficial.
To quote my favorite holiday movie, “Sex makes everything complicated. Even when you don’t have it, the not having it makes things complicated.”
There are many different types of clinical sexual issues that might be discussed during sex therapy, but here are a few that I am professionally passionate about and would be honored to help you work through:
Painful sex for women: vaginismus, vulvodynia, vestibulodynia, clitorodynia, dyspareunia
Inability to orgasm
Relationship with self, solo sex
Sexual desire discrepancy between partners
Overcoming purity culture, changing sexual expression/identity
Communities: LGBTQIA+, kink/BDSM
Advocating for your own needs and pleasure in a sexual relationship
Of course, only you can determine whether the time is right for you to work with a sex therapist or not.
I am here for you if you decide to go for it! You can always chat with me if you’d like a free consultation or to receive more information before you take the leap.