Five reasons you should masturbate

Check in with yourself. Did you have a visceral or emotional reaction to the title of this article?

Many people have negative Opinions-with-a-capital-O about the act of masturbation (or even the word itself).

In certain religious or conservative cultures, masturbating (or self-pleasuring) is seen as lewd, shameful, disgusting, and forbidden.

Some people might believe that a partner (or a spouse) is the only one who we should be intimate with, or that masturbating negates the quality/validity of our romantic partnership.

Some see masturbation as something that only a boy or a man does “because boys will be boys.”

Some believe that masturbation isn’t important at all because it doesn’t serve the function of procreation. “No baby, no purpose!”

As someone who professionally tells people to prioritize their own pleasure, you can guess what my response to all of the above is…

I am extremely pro-masturbation. (How’s that for a bumper sticker slogan)

Masturbating is part of our completely natural human urge to feel good and to feel sexual pleasure.

Humans have literally been found to masturbate in the womb as tiny little fetuses. (Seriously, look it up; females can have orgasms in the womb, and males have been seen stroking their penises in utero.)

How can something that innocent be seen as so vile? (Are babies aware that they are so vile? Who’s gonna tell ’em?)

However, it’s not my job (or interest) to try to convince people that masturbating isn’t evil (and I’m sure that that crowd would not be reading this article in the first place), so lets move on to the main point:

There are physiological and psychological reasons that masturbation is healthy for you, and I would love to share a few of them with you. For science.

Safest way to have sex

Partnered sex will always have an element of risk. You can share STIs, get pregnant when you don’t want to, get a UTI, possibly fall off a bed and bump your head, or even catch feelings (the most dangerous game of all!), who knows. Masturbating minimizes all those risks. You can’t catch an STI or get pregnant from pleasuring yourself. Just wash your hands (and toys), and you’re good to go!

Helps you determine what feels good to YOU

There is no one who will ever know you better than you know yourself ( not even your therapist ;) ), so why would you rely on someone else to understand your pleasure needs? A great way to improve your sex life is to improve how much pleasure you derive from it, and a great place to start is by learning how to pleasure your damn self!

Puts the power back in your hands

This one is for my single peeps. Do you ever feel like you want a partner just so that you can scratch the itch to have sex? Well, guess what! You don’t need a partner to have sex. :) Remove this from the list of reasons of why you’re looking for a partner. Doing so will decrease your level of urgency in the dating game, and help you relax as you focus on the most important things, like whether the person you’re dating hates olives or not.

Releases sexual and emotional tension

Basics: If you want to have sex, if you want to orgasm, if you’re turned on, if you have a bunch of pent-up sexual energy… you can easily, happily, and successfully release it. You know how if you’re hungry for too long, you can become “hangry?” What’s the word for when you’re so horny that you’re angry… and why is it also “hangry?”

Normalizes sexual urges

I will always talk about the importance of reducing sexual shame. The more we try to avoid or push down our natural desires for sex, release, pleasure, fantasies, etc, the more shame we are prone to feeling when we have those urges. Masturbating is a great way to “give in” to the urge to have sex, in a safe space that allows you to explore the feeling without involving anyone else. Much like individual therapy, it is a healthy and helpful way to explore your own feelings while normalizing the human experience.

So, please: Embrace your sexuality. Go enjoy your body. Learn something about your own desires.

Then take that positive energy and put it towards all the other amazing things you are doing with your one precious life.